5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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