why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
