Don't you send me to vm
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
