Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
