Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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