Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
not ubering you a puppy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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