maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
