Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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