Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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