the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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