Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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