i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
