Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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