yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
