Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We were destined to go to rehab together
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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