Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here

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(913): View more from Kansas

checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

Fav 27 2156 7738
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(559): View more from California

I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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(940): View more from Texas

Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

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(512): View more from Texas

We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

Fav 43 2012 5911
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(317): View more from Indiana

He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP

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(845): View more from New York

Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway

Fav 2 717 689
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.

Fav 0 14 41
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