I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize