is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
