Yo dont text me then not text me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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