i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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