she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
