I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
