He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
we should paint friendship bongs
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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