Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
