I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize