I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
