I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
