sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize