She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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