She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The air was thick with penises
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
