she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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