thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
