that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
