My nipple is on Facebook.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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