the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize