You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
