This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
