The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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