I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
