you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
