ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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