How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
