Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
