Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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