1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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