everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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