; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Randomize
