I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
