There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
