at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
