I looked at my own cervix.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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