Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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