So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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