She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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