question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
