if i died would you start the facebook group?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
