I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
