the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
