apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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