I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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