Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
