Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
