did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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