'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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