you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
