New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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