have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
