Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
