Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
