My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
