Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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