I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
